How to help your kids deal with stress

Stress in kids is not an avoidable subject anymore. Instead of asking them to brush it off, we parents need to learn the right tools in helping our kids deal with stress.

Kidz, these days, have so much on their plates that it can come to the verge of breaking. There can be multiple reasons for stress for a kid: school, academics, friends, social media, stress at home, etc. 

We live in times where stress and pressure are an ingrained part of the environment. No one is untouched by anxiety or worry, whether an adult or a child. Stress in kidz is an increasing worry among parents too. But with proper understanding and healthy tools, parents can play a critical role in helping their kidz navigate their stress and anxiety.

What is Stress?

Anything that happens beyond the comfort zone of kidz that makes them feel unsafe, insecure, scared, worried, or uncertain can cause them stress. In simpler words, any uncomfortable change in their otherwise stable world comes to them as unpredictable and can make them stressed.

While temporary stress might not be all bad, for example, a little rush can inspire the kidz to work hard for the assessment test. But if the stress becomes chronic, it can be harmful in more than one way. While long-term anxiety negatively affects your performance, it can also be bad for your health in the long run.

How to identify stress in children?

We live in volatile times where our surrounding environment undergoes drastic changes in a blink of an eye. Such changing and testing times can cause anxiety to anyone, and the kidz are not spared from the stress either.

While we grownups/ parents can identify the worry or fear building in our minds, kidz often are not emotionally equipped to identify what is troubling them, and often show the signs of stress as one or more of the following symptoms:

• Sick in stomach/ tummy ache- Remember how it feels heavy or sinking in your stomach before entering a presentation or interview? Kidz have a similar feeling when stressed but may not identify it and report it as a tummy ache. Look out for a pattern, or is it repeated before any event? It might be a sign of stress.
• Change in eating habits- If the child has suddenly stopped eating or is eating too much, it might be a coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety.
• Change in sleeping patterns- if the kid is not able to sleep at night or is sleeping too much to avoid stressful situations, it might be a sign that he is dealing with something uncomfortable inside.
• Sudden mood swings- if you see your child getting angry or irritated over tiny issues or see them bursting into tears over nothing, he might be going through something inside.
• Change in habits or going back to habits they had babies- Some kidz go back to the habits like thumb sucking or over-obsessing over a toy or caregiver; the habits that soothed them when they were babies. 

How to help your child deal with stress?

So now we know the probable signs a child might show, it is also essential to understand how we can make it easier for them.

• Help them identify- If you see the kid showing any signs, as a parent, call it out and help them in identifying it. “I see you are sucking your thumb or showing rage on a petty issue. You seem to be stressed or worried about something. Do you want to talk about it?"
• Don’t disregard or ignore their worries- the problem behind their stress or fear might not seem like a real reason to a grown-up, but that is no reason to disregard it. Refrain from downsizing their problems and try to look at them from kidz’ eyes. It might be bigger than we as parents can comprehend. 
• Healthy conversations- Encourage your kidz to have a conversation by asking the right questions and listening patiently to what they have to say. They might be trying to put words to their feelings, and it might not be an easy conversation for them. Soothe them, adjust, and understand without any judgment.
• Make them feel safe- Kidz feel stressed when they feel scared, unsafe, or stuck in unpredictable situations. They often tend to become clingy or over-attached to one of the parents or may at times isolate themselves from everyone. Help them feel safe again by spending time with them; follow their lead, and find out what can make them feel safe again. Most of the time, simple activities like spending time together in nature, going swimming, or staying close to them may work.
• Set a routine- Having a set daily routine can be therapeutic for kids and grownups. It also helps kidz distract their minds from what’s troubling them.
• Engage them in productive activity- Cook with them, read with them, take them to a park outside in nature, do more activities with them that they like. It will help release some stress.
• Check on their daily schedule- often, kidz are over-burdened with after-school activities, which can also be a reason for their stress. If you think they are over-engaged in extra-curricular tasks, maybe it would be a good idea to reduce some of the extra classes and give them time to relax and calm down.
• Seek professional help- Don’t ignore if signs don’t go away in some time or get worse over time. Discuss with the expert to better equip yourself with the right tools to help your kidz. Reach out to EQ expert and coach Susanna for a FREE consultation session at eqforkidz.co/contact

Tips for parents when your child is stressed

• First and foremost, understand it is their problem, not yours. They need your presence and support as a parent right now. They need your empathy more than your sympathy.
• Don’t jump in to save the day. I understand it is painful to see your baby losing sleep over a petty fight or a game in school. But don’t go and make things right for them right away. As much as we want our kidz to be happy, they must learn to deal with a healthy amount of stress and figure out the solution independently. It will help build resilience in the long run. 
• Reach out to an expert- If you see the kid cannot cope with the pressure, seek expert advice and get professional assistance to help your kidz. Get in touch with the expert at susanna@eqforkidz.co

Conclusion

Stress in current times is inevitable. Instead of trying to make a stress-free bubble for our kidz, we need to better equip ourselves as a parent in identifying, understanding, and handling the stress in kidz and help them learn the right tools to deal with stress, anxiety, or fear.